With NFL facilities shut down because of the coronavirus pandemic, the Seattle Seahawks are holding video conferences in lieu of in-person meetings that would normally take place at the Virginia Mason Athletic Center.
Coach and noted prankster Pete Carroll, whose team began its virtual offseason program this week, wanted to introduce some of the incoming Seahawks to their new teammates during Thursday’s meeting.
That was the set-up for a gag that had comedian Will Ferrell impersonating veteran tight end Greg Olsen, who signed a one-year, $7 million with Seattle in February.
It begins with “Olsen” sharing his deep affection for Russell Wilson, telling the quarterback: “I mean, I love you. Let’s make a baby.”
He makes it clear to offensive coordinator Brian Schottenheimer that he didn’t come to Seattle to block and showed off one of his own hand-drawn plays, “90 go flywheel Kanye starburst.”
He won’t play special teams under any circumstances, nor will he stand for any nonsense from one of his fellow tight ends, the fun-loving and long-haired Luke Willson.
“Tamp that s— down, OK,” he tells Willson. “That’s not how I handle myself, alright? I don’t know what you do in the offseason up there in Canada, but cut your god damn hair and let’s play some football.”
The real-life Olsen has made three Pro Bowls and caught 59 touchdown passes in 13 NFL seasons, including the last nine with the Carolina Panthers. He’s gotten a head start on his post-football career by serving as a color analyst on Fox broadcasts of some NFL games, most recently last season during Carolina’s bye.
Impersonating Olsen, Ferrell thanks Carroll for allowing him to broadcast Seahawks games and play in them at the same time. Then he tries to allay teammates’ concerns about his age by assuring them he’s been staying in shape with an all-yoga exercise plan.
“Does this look like the body of a 36-year-old?” he says while pulling up his shirt to expose a flabby midsection. “I don’t think so.”
Carroll and Ferrell go back to the coach’s days at USC, where Ferrell was a fixture around the Trojans’ football program.